Diary : 31 Aug 2011

Kuak, a gang leader and ex-glue user now undergoing home schooling to help him back to school. Prior to this, Kuak was not even able to read a single thai alphabet. Now he is not only catching up but also helping out in the office.

His favourite pass time ? Collecting items to recycle ! And he's earning money !

Diary : 28-30 Aug 2011

With Project LIVES! around the corner and a huge handful of logistics unsettled. It was impossible for me to leave office, much less talk about having a prayer retreat, there was just too much work to be done.

But wait. I was reminded of an old preacher who said "The heavier your battle, the longer you should spend in prayer"

But it was unsettling. It was unlike me to leave my work while things are still unsettled. I hesitated and waited at my computer for emails to be replied, to at least lift the burdens off my shoulders before i go on a retreat.

No mails with good news came in. The greater the urge to stay in office for one more day to wait for replied. My bag was packed, but my heart and mind was filled with anxiety.

This was the last period in which I can afford a 2-3 day break and I knew I had to make a choice.

And I finally did. Prayer is just too important to be put aside especially in a critical moment such as these. So off I went on Sunday and returned on Tuesday refreshed.

It is not only about the time spent alone to reest, nor is it the undisturbed sleep. But its the time spent with God, the running back to God to rest in his assurance. Its about bouncing ideas off God and aligning my plans with His Will.

Such times as these are probably more important than ministry itself.

There is absolutely no point in spearheading & executing projects no matter how successful they are, if its not God Will and if He is not in the picture. Its not about taking the promise land in our hearts, but He being in the promise land with us that really mattered.

My diaries are at best only a pale reflection of the emotional challenges we go through day by day. Seeing incredible needs but yet challenged with limited funding, I sometimes find myself asking God "So why put me here when I cannot do anything about the sufferings" There is a sense of helplessness and focus starts to erode. And as time passes, memory fades. Sometimes even the wildest raging fires of faith fueled by God given dreams can be slowly diminished over time.

But though these prayer retreats that God fans the diminishing embers of flames, fueling us with forgotten memories and relights new flames of revival back in my life.

Suddenly everything is clearer, suddenly I rediscover my purpose, suddenly I'm no longer anxious, suddenly I'm burning for His presence again.

Diary : 27 Aug 2011

Taking a 2-3 day retreat. DND.

Diary : 25 Aug 2011 (Part 2)

We may have a land available in Khek Noi ! Keep us in prayer as we negotiate on the land price ! Should this land purchase go though it will be the location of our very first Integrated complex.

Got back late yesterday and had one custard apple for dinner ! Yes, one monstrous sized custard apple !

Diary : 25 Aug 2011 (Day At Immigrations)

Much of today was spent hanging around the immigrations department and I arrived at 8am. I was the 5th on the queue. Not bad I thought.

I thought wrong. I only managed to see the officer at 11am. Almost a 3 hour wait.

Next I was told that the visa 1 year extension process will take 1 month, as such I can only leave the country on 12 Oct or forfeit my visa !

This was terrible. We're scheduled to be in Singapore for project lives together with Puu & Tim, and worse, our air tickets are booked on 8th !

The immigrations officer heard our case and said with a blank face "Yes, you must clear immigrations before booking any flights" But her next line brought a glimmer of hope, "But you can try coming about 1 week, maybe...just maybe the visa will be ready"

Now, as incredulous as it sounds, especially when we are flying to Singapore to help raise funds to help Thai locals. We're subjected to more incredible amounts of red tape and the government seems to be happy just the way things are; Where NGOs do the bulk of the social work, while the government almost have their hands off completely.

We overheard an officer saying "Foreigners are only helping Thais because they enjoy staying in Thailand, so we let them help" But they fail to understand that foreign aid comes in only because there is a lack of aid & support within.

Not only is there a lack of support for foreign NGOs helping Thais, it seems that certain policies were meant just to confuse you and keep you running in circles. Ie, when you ask the immigrations about a policy, they refer you to the district office, and they will refer you to the provincial office and the provincial office will refer you to the immigrations.

Talk about infinite loops.

Little is done to facilitate the paperwork, instead you hear the nonchalant response so frequently "Sorry, you just have to be physically present and you have to put aside all plans to get your visa approved."

I remembered that we used to have to make special efforts just to be in Chiang Mai for months in a time, just to wait to be inspected or for the paperwork to clear, while everything on the ministry end pulls to a halt.

At least we're in better shape now, with more staff to run the programmes while i'm in Chiang Mai.

Really, I'm not looking for gratitude or a privileged treatment. But surely people can do more to facilitate aid within their own countries !

So yes. Its frustrating.

Did I mention that the types of documents (Range from 14-18 documents, each with their own processing time), processing timelines, the number of copies of each document varies with the wind ?

Diary : 23 Aug 2011

Was down for the entire day after being hit by a sudden bout of flu. The whole body felt like it was bruised and I could hardly get off my bed.

Getting to the immigrations office to settle the visa issues was not an easy task, with my head spinning and muscular pains. That was not the worst. The worst was arriving at the immigrations office 10km away and the office was swamped with people and we were turned away.

Yes. Aug-Oct is one of our busiest months with project lives & piles of government paperwork.

This is just 1 set of documents. To get this set, we need to prepare 2 other sets and to get that set, we need another 5 sets. Yeah, you get the idea.

If you stack a year's worth of Thai paperwork together, it will probably be taller then me.

Diary : 22 Aug 2011

A roller coaster day.

The good thing is the my visa is now approved by the governor. But we'll still have to go down to the immigrations tomorrow to complete the application. Hopefully the visa and paperwork does not drag till the medical team, otherwise we may have to make more changes in plans.

Thats the good news. The bad news is that we are having no success finding a location for our public collection drive on 15 & 16th Oct. Thats distressing especially when the dates are drawing so close. So do keep us in prayers.

I guess that through it all God is in control :)

Diary : 21 Aug 2011

Was out the whole day to inspect a used car. This is about the cheapest car we can find on the market with a big enough engine to be used for long distance travel. We would definitely like a better car, but i guess that's all we can afford for now.

Diesel price is rising steadily and LPG looks like the next best alternative. What we're planning to do is to install an LPG tank in this car so we can save roughly 50% of fuel cost commuting from Chiang Mai and Phetchabun.

Should this project work out, we may even be able to host visitors of 2-4 pax on a cost of roughly 4,000-5000bht per journey instead of renting a mini-van which will cost easily 2-3 times this amount due to rental and fuel costs.

Every month, we have to shuttle to both cities preaching and overseeing our projects and we just have to keep costs as low as possible so we can stretch the donors dollar to reach more lives.

So pray with us that we'll make a prudent decision and the car will last us a good while :)

This is the car.

Diary : 21 Aug 2011

Night fishing with the kids ! The boys had been digging for hours to get enough earthworms as bait ! What a joy to be able to spend time with the kids.

Final score. Jong 2 Catfish, Kuak 1 Catfish, Faa 1 unknown carp. Rest of us. Zero !

Diary : 19 Aug 2011 (New Thai Logo)

Spent much of yesterday redesigning a new logo for the Thai foundation. The government officials have been remarking that our previous logo did not contain the words "foundation" and its terribly confusing for them. Thus the need to change the logo to facilitate the governmental paperwork.

Never quite enjoyed designing, so here it is.

Diary : 18 Aug 2011 (Happy Birthday Ongster)

Wishing Alvin Ong a blessed birthday ! Personally, Alvin is not only a friend but a faithful brother in Christ who has journeyed together with me for the last 15 years. Through the up and downs in our personal lives and ministry work, the struggles in the mission field. Thank you for the faith and trust in me. This friendship that the Lord gave, pushes me on when I feel like giving up so very often.

Now for the next smaller thing to give thanks about. Judy (our golden retriever) a gift from a foreigner had a lipoma (benign tumor) on the back and it ruptured, oozing blood and pus around her back. Yesterday I had to run a mini surgery and patch her back up. She looks alright today, running around and playing with a gauze on her back.

Diary : 17 Aug 2011 (An End Near ?)

Allow me to share my thoughts.

Over the last 3 years, the Lord has been putting a new urgency in my heart. And the call to "prepare the way" has been repeated. The first was many years back when I was at a christian store in Chiang Mai. I was overwhelmed to a point of tears and momentarily paralysed. When the words "prepare the way" it was not casual but there was a tone of urgency in the voice. As though as the Lord's return was imminent.

Since then I have gone without stop and ministered in the villages that the Lord called the ministry to.

Just last sunday, the same words came to me. "prepare the way" and since then my heart became extremely burdened. Do watch this video to understand about the debt crisis and how it affects us.



With the US economy at the verge of collapse, the idea of a global economic meltdown is slowly becoming a reality. The question now for most of us Christian is if Christ will return before tribulation or after. For me I choose to hope for the best but prepare for the later.



Now when the meltdown start, banking systems will fail, your money will become valueless, there will be a shortage of public services such as electricity and water, food riots will start from hungry desperate people and the list goes on.

No, I don't think its isolated to the U.S, but also the nations around the world, afterall we're so interlinked and inter dependent.

This of course will eventually usher in the one world currency, the one world government and the mark of the beast which the bible has predicted thousands of years before.

But I pray that at that time, I will have the resources to help others say "No" to the mark of the beast.

Diary : 15 Aug 2011

A view from my office.

My lesson is to keep trusting the Lord to provide and open the necessary doors. Many times i fret and get worried about who is going to feed the children, will we have enough sponsors and will we have enough funds to see us through.

2 years back, we almost had to close our doors due to a lack of funds and it was not a pleasant experience. Somehow it stuck at the back of my mind and I remember it as vividly as yesterday. But despite the bad times, i realised its also the Lord that pulled the ministry back up.

May this post be a reminder of God's faithfullness to this ministry and what He has called us to do.

Diary : 14 Aug 2011

Not too good a day. Received a fine for parking along street side. But decided not to allow it to spoil my day with the kids. But it was an emotional thai mother's day service and it was great to see the kids remembering their mothers and praying for them. P.Neet my staff traveled 450km with us just to be with her child on sunday and it was heartwarming to see the mother and child relations warming up again.

We took the kids out to a local shopping mall, in effort to help them realise that the world is much larger than just the village. Working with tribal kids is not that easy. As the Christian saying goes "it took 1 day to bring the Israelites out of Egypt but it took 40 years to take Egypt our of the Israelites"

The same thing applies with our rehab programme, but with a greater challenge and mandate. We need to get these kids out of egypt, egypt out of them but yet maintaining cultural ties so they can minister to their communities in the future.

The sad fact is many of the tribal people is that most of them fall under 2 categories. The first group are the ones who perceive that the village lifestyle is the best and is unwilling to learn anything from the outside world. Perfect insulation case. Where else the second group are those who have seen the world and start to despise their own culture. Both groups share something in common, both will do nothing to change existing problems within their village.

But we want none of these, instead we want to build a people that understand the culture but still having the right attitude and mindset to help impact their home communities.

Some pictures for today !

These karoke singing cubicles are hideous ! Torn chairs, small rooms, poor TVs but again, who cares, everyone having a great time !

The staff having a chill-out time with the kids !

Diary : 13 Aug 2011 (Back in Chiang Mai)

Nope. Manak did not turn up. We waited for an additional 30mins, but no sight of the child.

A picture taken this morning at RADION's SHOPHOUSE while we waited for manak to appear.

The journey from the village to Chiang Mai city took 7 hours covering almost 450km. But seeing the smiles on the children's faces at the STREETKIDS! home in Chiang Mai, just washes away all tiredness. But the smell of perspiration from the hours of driving remains !

 

Briefing to the kids. It was hilarious when we tried to teach Jong (One of our stk girls) to keep still when she is speaking. She has a habit of moving her hands as she speaks and its absolutely hilarious when she tried to speak with her hands crossed. We thought it would work, but instead her head started bobbing !

Glad to be back.

Diary : 12 Aug 2011

Frustrated. The internet was down again for the entire morning only to be up at around 2pm. Terribly frustrating considering that today's a friday and the last day of the week to send out emails and get replies.

After calling the ISP, the same response again. "We're sorry, we'll get the engineer to check on the connection again" That line of course only comes after 30mins of incredulous "guided checks" such as "Have you turned on your modem ? Is your PC on ?

But again, it was also therapeutic doing menial tasks like packing the medical inventory, sorting out my documents and all :)

Come tomorrow, i'll be heading back to Chiang Mai. And tomorrow is also the day where we'll know if Manak is serious about going to Chiang Mai. If he is, he will have to turn up tomorrow before 12 !

Diary : 11 Aug 2011 (Again, again and again)

It has been a really packed week, with the mass food distribution, streetkids work and project lives fast approaching. But today I made a conscious effort to take a day off to rest and pray, after being reminded again and again by Alvin to "guard my rest" :)

As I was walking out, I met Manak a boy who previously ran away from the streetkids rehabilitation shelter. This little child comes from a very sad background, with his mother addicted to drugs and his father passed away just 2 years back. As a result, Manak's behaviour got worse and he got really messed up in drugs and soon was caught stealing. We took the child in against the advise of the villagers. They told me "You really want this kid ? He is notorious for stealing and he is hopeless !"

But we knew that this boy just needed someone to believe in him. So we took him in. And before long, he ran away. Came back regretful. We took him in. And he ran away again !

This went on not once but 4 times !

Just this year, he was sent to a monastry, or a boy's home. But even under these conditions, he managed to get himself kicked out for smoking. This time he's back in the village again and he thought about us. The silly people who keep giving chances to people like him

Not once but 4 times. He caused so much grief to both the staff as well as his sponsor. Finally when the mother could not manage him anymore, the family sent him to a monetary to continue his studies. But he was kicked out when he was caught smoking.

Though I reconised the child and wanted to give that child a hug. But I held back, just to test if the child is truely sincere about coming back. So i told him to come back 2 hours later after my personal retreat. He nodded.

While driving to my retreat spot, I was overtaken by thoughts of how to handle manak without compromising the discipline at the STREETKIDS home. On one hand I wanted to give him a chance, but yet, if i were to take him in, i would set a very very bad precedance and example for the rest of the kids at the shelter. The kids will just loose respect for the system and run away knowing that they can always come back later !

I put that all aside and took the time to pray and read a book. And I was reminded that we too, have always taken God for granted, but He has never given up on us. Why should we go by another yardstick ?


The day was perfect. It was a little drizzly but it brought in the better aspect of the weather- the cool 23 deg mountain air ! It was almost magical to be sipping a cup of coffee while enjoying the majestic mountain range.

After 2 hours, I drove back into the village and soon enough Manak arrived.


He's a hardened child who will never ask for help. Coming to the centre itself was already a humbling thing for him. We tried to meet him halfway.

His head was bowed for the whole session and terribly quiet. So i pressed further "Manak why are you here ?"
After moments of silence he replied "I thought of you and puu" It was a difficult moment for him and we knew it. What he was saying was that he had no where else to turn to.

So finally he asked if we would consider bringing him to Chiang Mai to study. Deep inside we wanted to help, but sending a child to school in Chiang Mai is really not cheap and as of right now, we have to fork out an additional 1000bht per child, per month above the sponsorship fees. And moreover, sending him to the chiang mai home and going to study will just send a very wrong signal to the rest of the kids going through rehab.

I decided to strike a balance between helping him and maintaining discipline. I decided that I will offer this child to go to Chiang Mai for home schooling and vocational training. Only when he has proven himself to be committed to change, will we enroll him in the next school term in 2012.

I had to make sure that he was really serious so I told the child to prepare 400bht for his return bus fare. Its 2 days of wages. Something that if he was really serious about, he will be able to obtain and not steal to get it. This 400bht will be kept by us and should he fail the probation for any reason, we'll give him this 400bht to take a bus fare back to the village.

He knew we were serious and I told the boy that if he is ready to start anew, come on saturday with his clothes and the money. We'll take care of the rest. He nodded and bid farewell.

But knowing manak for the last 3 years, we know its a 50-50 case. He may or may not turn up. But if he is serious enough about starting anew, he will. If not we'll just be praying for him. So lets see how things turn out on Saturday.

Diary : 10 Aug 2011 (Giving Hope To Delinquents ?)

This is probably one of the days where you feel that all the hard work and investment into lives is paying off.

A young orphan boy whose parents died of AIDS and without parental guidance he soon became a delinquent. Meang is a wild, rowdy child and refused to assimilate. Even worse, he stole hard saved money from the other kids in the shelter. And he wouldn't admit it.

For his whole life, he has been rejected, scolded and put down. The teachers, relatives, neighbours were all the same. They never really wanted to listen to what he has to say. Learning through rejection and pain, Meang learnt never to admit to any wrongs and grew hardened along the way.

He is just 10.

Its was all dark after dinner but we wanted to speak to the child privately. We sat the child down and spoke to him for hours just to reassure him that we're not here to put him down, but here to give him a chance and hope in a new life. We knew that if Meang goes on like this, he will just continue to lose respect amongst his peers and the vicious cycle continues.

 Picture of Nam Juang Village that took the team almost 3 hours to get there.

I sat there, not wanting to give up, though it took a lot out of us. We've just returned from almost 9 hours of being offroad and facing a rebellious child wasn't really what we're looking forward to. But because we know how important it is for the child, we dragged our reluctant bodies to invest more time in Meang; he has no one else to turn to, except us.

Sitting under a open-aired shed with just a florescent tube lighting the area, we shared how we believed in the best in him and how an act like that is a step backwards from getting a new lease of life without stigma; without people looking down on him. He just bowed his head and teared, knowing that he messed up yet again, now with people that loved him.

I told the little boy "Try again. We all make mistakes, but we just have to know we've done wrong and make things right" Tears started rolling down his cheeks and he nodded silently.

Meang knew he had to make right and agreed to apologise to the child he stole from.

We managed to get the Herh-the boy whom Meang stole from and got him to be sitting next to Meang, There was a long moment of awkward silence and finally Meang mustered his courage to speak.

Meang was already breaking and sobbing between words......He just said a small soft tone...."I'm sorry Herh, i stole money from you and I'll save up to pay you back...." and before you know it, more tears was flowing down his cheeks and onto his little dusty T-shirt.

Another moment of awkward silence.

Herh sitting by Meang, hearing his words beamed a smile. He looked at Meang and said..."Its alight, I forgive you".

At that very moment, the feeling was incredible. Almost as though everything litted up, even my physical tireness just faded away hearing the children learning and forgiving each other. I guess that's what the STREETKIDS! rehabilitation shelter is all about !

The little Meang taking a while to compose himself after tearing so much.

This incident benefited me as well I guess, seeing with my own eyes that lives are changed, gives me strength to continue despite incredible and heartbreaking odds working with street children.

Diary : 9 Aug 2011

Watching the Singapore National Day parade from Thailand sure brings a sense of nostalgia. 

3000ft up in the mountains, thousands of miles away, but I can't help but think about Singapore.

Happy birthday Singapore !

How a typical day looks like.... paperwork, emails and more paperwork. All very necessary but not always the most exciting stuff.  The white board in the background is probably my best friend to help me plan and sort out my thoughts.

Another interesting note :
My staff knew that today was my off day and when they saw me at my desk, they just chided "Boss, why bother to declare a day off for yourself if you're not even planning to rest, must as well just continue to work without offs you've done for the last 4 years !"

Diary : 8 Aug 2011

The most happening event of the week, come rain or shine. The monday market !
Where both people and flies are abundant ! This is also the place where the poor will come out later to salvage the leftovers.

Diary : 7 Aug 2011 (A Day With My Kids)

 After church, we brought the kids out to the "big pool". Its actually more like a lake than a pool :) This round, our mission is to catch enough crabs for one meal ! Making things worse, the weather took a quick dip, bringing rain and the temperatures down to 24 deg ! Awesome !

 Meang, an orphan who recently joined the STREETKIDS programme practicing how to cast a net. He're definitely better then me, but he didn't attach a rope to the end of the net. As such after every throw, he will go diving after ! That's his excuse to get wet !

 The ladies man ! This picture sure looks like a beautiful day out at the beach. But it isn't ! We're 3000ft up in the mountains and the nearest beach is 500km away ! Its actually a lake and the "sand" you see ? Is actually dried mud from a swamping area !
But again, who really cares when you're having great fun !

The catch ! A pail full of crabs, snails and what have you ! Yes. we eat these over here !

Diary : 6 Aug 2011 (Mass Food Distribution)

 The streetkids preparing to present a special item during the mass food distribution. A simple song about the mother's love. The song was simple but meaningful espcially on this occaction where we celebrate mother's day with the womenfolk.The song carried a deeper meaning to the elderly as this is truely like a family to the ones who have no loved ones to turn to.

A sermon about finding meaning and purpose in God. 12 people came to receive Christ for the first time in their lives. Now the challenge is to nurture and guide them in their walk.
We also broke the news that we're praying towards setting up a church with a difference. May this be the start of something incredible !

More and more kids are turning up at our event ! This is a picture of the kids listening to distribution instructions after they had the fill of noodles ! Each got to go back with a stuffed toy & a shirt each !

Diary : 5 Aug 2011 ( Someone Still Cares)

As much as I would hate to say this, but something i just realised. Taking snapshots of a day, helps me write.

This morning, our management team was given a tour of Khao Kho government hospital and it was our privilege to be able to bless them with a small medical inventory of face masks and hand sanitisers-something that will come in useful for their medical staff.

Though the hospital was small, but I'm encouraged by the spirit of the medical workers. They have a very small medical budget and they are overwhelmed daily by throngs of people (mostly hill tribesmen) seeking medical attention. The CEO of the hospital extended his thanks to the donors and was grateful for the gift, more then just items, it was a symbol of friendship and a new avenue for collaboration.

At the background : The stash of supplies we donated to Khao Kho Hospital

Next up, we went to Huay Nam Khao public school to keep our promise :) Some time back we promised to donate some children's toys and education materials from PROJECT LIVES 2010 to the school, but with the hectic schedule, we never got the chance to visit the school till today.

But this is the beautiful thing, the student, the teachers remembered us. The greeting was liken to old friends meeting again after a long laspe. Children were running out of the classrooms, excited at what "these RADION people" brought this round !

 

3 sacks came out of the truck and it was filled with colourful toys, strange looking stuff toys and learning kits ! The adorable kids just wanted to cuddle and play with the toys. The look on their faces was priceless. It was like a dream come true !

Words cannot adequately describe, but here are some pictures to tell the story !

 and toys come out of the bag !

 The nursery teachers and their kids !

In the evening at the children's home, the children were talking about what should they do for tomorrow's mass food distribution. They said, since its going to be mother's day, shall we do something special for them (the destitute old folks) ? 

 

So we started planning and at the side of my eye, I caught a glimpse of these little bushes of flowers. The kids immediately sprung into action and soon, they had it all thought out. - How they will make flowers into little bouquets for the elderly who will come tomorrow. A gift on mother's day as well as an action of faith to tell the elderly that someone still cares !

 

 

Diary : 4 Aug 2011

 It was starting to drizzle when i spotted a rainbow. The kids forgot all about the rain, ran out to admire the rainbow. Hmong myth says that there is a dragon at the end of every rainbow, but to me, its a promise of the Lord. Maimee on the right most, looked to me and said "Isn't that what the bible talks about ? About God's faithfulness ?"

 The younger streetkids in our rehablitation shelter in Phetchabun. One of my staff sneaked into the picture without me noticing ! This picture was taken just after our children's worship & hames where we talked about faith and evangelism !

The kids playing with a new found box of Play Doh. Yes the old school stuff :) They were so amused with it that they didn't want to get to bed !

Today, I lingered a while more at the kids home, playing with play doh with the kids. It honestly took a little bit of effort on my part to pull myself away from work and spend these little moments. But it is these moments that builds bonds between us.

Diary : 3 Aug 2011 (More Than Enough)

Quite a month i must say.

For the last 3 days, we have been hit by a tropical storm bringing heavy rains and flooding in northern thailand. Our office was so badly battered that water was leaking through the roofs and coming in through the windows.

We drove through heavy rains to get back to Phetchabun so food reliefs can reach the villagers just before the supplies run dry. And more importantly, just in time for the mass food distribution.

Its heartwarming to hear how our staff are growing emotionally and loving the work. Nong Maay commented yesterday "when i first joined RADION, nothing struck me too deeply. work was work. But as I stayed with the kids, taught them, loved them, they slowly became part of me. I can't imagine myself working elsewhere !"

These are the things that keep you going despite the hard times, despite us having a shortage of funding. But I guess God has His plans and everything is more then enough