Diary : 27 Nov 2011 (The Story of a Bed)

Little joys in life !

We haven't had a decent bed in the Chiang Mai office till today.

Its kinda nostalgic remembering the first time when we rented this office.

At that time, we had to get to Chiang Mai every few months to get governmental paperwork done. And we really didn't have much money at that time. We were sleeping on the cold floors of a friend's rented office and we were grateful to have a floor to sleep on. Our backpacks were our pillows and jackets and jeans were our blankets.

After months of saving, we decided to take the "step of faith" to rent an office which we needed in order to register our charity. We had so little funds and we chanced upon a place that offered the cheapest rental. It was far out from the city, it was just hard concrete and really minimalistic- it had absolutely nothing !

But there was still much to thank God for, though we slept on the floor, at least we had a roof over our heads and it was our first office in Chiang Mai !

Months down the road, we saved up enough for a pillow and a thin polyester mattress. It was strange to sleep on one of these, it didn't do much of a job as you can feel the hard ground through the thin mattress. But at least it was better than sleeping on the cold hard floor.

After years, we saved up for the cheapest spring mattress we could find in the hypermart. It was exciting ! We finally had a bed, of sorts. The rainy season came and to our horror, the roof leaked and the beds were soaked, the spring quickly gave way and we couldn't bring ourselves to splurge any more money on a bed. The money can be better used to help someone out there.

It was funny every night ! Our butts will sink into the mattress while our legs and head will be supported by whats left of the bed. After a while, we got used to it and it kinda felt more like a Styrofoam bean bag than a bed ! And the roof leakages ? We joked that it was like an infinity pool up there !

For months, red ants will start infesting the place and we'll be bitten all over. These are really nastly little fire ants and swelling was enormous ! And many times when we just needed a shower, there was just no water from the taps. Yes. Thats probably why the rental is so cheap !

Last year, through project lives, we were offered a sofa bed, we grabbed it ! It was a little cranky. It just didn't open up fully, so it was another "V" but at least we're away from the ground and few more cm away from the nasty red ants!

Last month during project lives, when the manager at Salvation Army asked us what we needed. Shirleen our local coordinator quickly chirped "Our director is still sleeping on a sofa bed ! Can we get him a bed ? He just refuses to buy a bed !

Yes. She knows I've been hoping to get a mattress and have been looking in Ikea Singapore. But its just all so overpriced. Nice and soft, but it was just too pricey. I silently whispered to God and said "It'll be nice to have one yeah ?"

At the salvation army warehouse, the manager acceded to the request of Shirleen and made the rest of the arrangements and a dismantled bed frame + a mattress squeezed into the remaining space on the container before it left Singapore.

After the relief distribution last week, we transported the bed and frame to Chiang Mai in a little truck and got it assembled!

My staff joked "Finally the director has a proper bed". We laughed and it sure looks new. I had to try it out ! Lying on the mattress, it has this strangest feeling, as though as I have slept on it before.

I turned the mattress around and there was a little sticker label at a small corner of the mattress.

I was taken aback..... It read IKEA.

I kinda remembered the moment where I lay on the IKEA bed in the showroom and made that little whisper. But I guess God heard :)

Diary : 24 Nov 2011 (What If)

While the world teaches us to take an eye for an eye. The bible tells us to turn the other cheek.
Requiring us to do something totally opposite our instincts !

There are just so many examples scattered across the gospels.  So many times we struggle and wonder why is it just do difficult to be Christ like.

Even for many of us who manage to "obey" (to varying degrees). I suspect that many times we obey by "crucifying the flesh", and potentially missing a better picture.


What if the issue is not the test of obedience but the issue of trust ?
The belief and trust that God is the very "manufacturer" of us and He has a good plan ?

For every new car that is produced, its accompanied by a manufacturer's handbook, with notes on how to care for the vehicle, trouble shoot problems and it also tells us how often it needs to be serviced. The manufacturer know the effects of wear and tear, how the climate will affect the car and they know that even with day to day use, the vehicle will soon fall apart without proper care.

Its a manual is written to tell of how the car can be kept at its optimum and prevented from premature damage but unfortunately, like the bible, its often left unread.
 
I believe there is an important parallel in the car manual and the Bible-the manual from our Manufacturer.

But the more stirring part.

What if these seemly painful "crucifying the flesh" verses where not meant to only make the world a better place, but more importantly to enable us to keep going and prevent us from getting hurt ?

You see thousands of years ago, it was commanded to the Israelites to circumcise their children after the 8th day of birth. The people of that day probably struggled with the idea and did it out of religious obligation, but little do they know that this act that goes against the fabric of our nature is actually saving their children's precious lives.

Without even knowing it, the next generation was preserved from potentially fatal infections. And the beautiful part is that the bible is so specific- at the 8th day !

According to doctors, at 8 days old, our bodies have the highest ability to bring about a blood clot, in the event of a cut and we are the most resilient to cuts at this very day of our lives.

Now, coming back to the issue at hand.

What if these commandments were not just meant for world outside ? But for us specifically ?

What if "Love thy neighbour" was not just a commandment for us to love others, but for us to have an opportunity to be helped in times of difficulty when turmoils come our way ? What if this the the very ark we need to build so disaster can be adverted?

What if these verses were not just commandments, but statements of Love from our manufacturer who has seen the future and is preparing us for what that lies ahead ?

If we view these verses in trust, knowing that God has the best plan for us.
I reckon that obedience will come naturally, because of a new found trust in an all-loving Maker.

Diary : 20 Nov 2011

There is really nothing glamourous about serving God in a mission field such as this.

Stories of brave missionaries blazing new frontiers and stories of great success, provision and blessings are just one side of the stories. But its the side that the world wants to hear.

The truth being is that we struggle every single day. While its beautiful to think that this path is paved with provision and breakthroughs, most often, its laced with pain, blood and sacrifice.

When i started this work back in 2007, i'm emptied my savings to come here, giving up a bright careers and taking a simple leap of faith. This leap was tremendously difficult, knowing that I'll be at the mercy of sneers from relatives, close friends who asked me to pause for a reality check. So many voices just tell you to not embark on this painful and potentially career ending journey.

I knew this journey was rough and I did everything I could to survive as long as I could in this very harsh place. Clean water was hard to come by, winter nights were cold and we hardly had a blanket thick enough to brace us through the cold. Waters in the bath came from cold river sources and I'll be shivering as a result I often caught the chills, and it was not a pleasant experience.

I saw how the locals tried their very best to boil water for me to bathe when they saw me turning white coming out of the shower. I guess they wondered, what caused this urban man to come to live amongst us. They probably laughed and at the same time pitied us. They extended their best courtesies and offered to cook meals for us, but the food was really different, sometimes its just a green mash, sometimes it looks reddish, not the kind of food we're used to in comfy singapore. It  was a struggle.


Especially in these very painful moments, i'll remember the reason why I'm here. The faces of villagers, the people who can't even afford the soap to bathe. And that thought kept me on for months. Over the first 3 months, i lost some 20kg, we had to keep expenses to a minimum so we could serve the people longer.

We really had to save, a simple bottle of coke was a luxury we couldn't always afford.

Sometimes, it can be really depressing working in these environments. Many nights I'll wonder and get slightly depressed, entertaining thoughts of quiting and going back to a more comfortable life. And these happen during the good times.

In bad times, when the ministry doesn't go all that well, funds come in in drips and drabs, I sometimes wonder if that is God's divine hint for me to go back.




Its always beautiful to work with grateful beneficiaries, but sometimes we get misunderstood, back-stabbed, pushed away and some complain. Yes it happens here as well, not just in Singapore.

Many times, my staff who are Hmong ask me, why do you care ? Hmongs are not easy people to care, much less to love. Sometimes they are terribly unlovable and ungrateful. Not the kind of people whom the world wants to help.

Yes it has some truth. But if we look at it from our perspective. Yes. they are unlovable. But when you look though God's eyes. Aren't we all the same ? Sometimes we are just as ungrateful and unlovable. But God still loved us nevertheless. Thats why I decide to stay and to let my life be a imperfect reflection of a loving God.


We get depressed too and I think of quitting more often than you know. And sometimes just pressing on and loving people is painful, and staying here is a sacrifice in itself.

I often wonder, what if I have chosen a corporate path ?
I would have my sports car, I would be fairly well off and enjoying a cushy life.
instead of sitting on a mountain typing on a $20 table and a donated chair !

Sometimes I complain too, but I realised that when i complain, I start viewing things from my perspective. The perspective of the almighty man. But when I see it though the Lord's eyes, I learn to love despite the hurts, learning to live simply, learning to put God first and the desires of the little me, second.

Most importantly, I yet again my almighty God saving a wretched me.

What a worthwhile exchange i may say. This journey of exchanging the desires of the world for the knowledge of an almighty God.

Diary : 18 Nov 2011 (Mass Relief Distribution)

Has been a wild week.

Apart from planning relief missions, we are also knee deep into our collaboration meetings with the local leadership. So just to give a glimpse of the leadership groups and essentially every group over laps every other group in more than 1 areas.

So to serve to confuse you further, there are essentially 3 groups of leaders in the village. 4 to be exact.
1 ) Village heads and chief of village. (Yes its different people, tirbal judge if you may)
2 ) Sub-district government officials (The people who are elected by the hilltribe to manage development)
3 ) Sub-district medical centre (The people who are providing medical care under the government)
4 ) Clan heads (The people whose work involved culture and disputes)

Yes its not easy. But we're looking at ways how we can serve not only the people but also work together with the leaders to help the community at large. For the last 4 years, they have stayed an arm's length and this year is a year of breakthroughs with awesome responses from the leaders.

Today we did a mass relief distribution and distributed 500 blankets + relief bags to the most needy villagers in the community. It was heartwarming to see the leaders labouring alongside us as we serve the people.

The distribution was timely. Freeing up important space at the STK Shelter for our ministry work. We still have a whole lot of items to be distributed, but there are just so many needs. We need wisdom to know where to push these items so we can reach the most people. And time is really not on our side, rats are known to infamously chew through our boxes and make nests in these cozy boxes during winter !

So we are juggling both the collaboration plans and the humanitarian relief work. And not to mention we have a whole lot of paperwork to juggle with ! Unlike larger NGOs who have a bunch of administrative staff working to support the field staff, here its just 3 of us; Shirleen, Alvin and me.

So yes the workload is extremely heavy, but our donors financial giving this year truly encouraged us in this journey of faith. Though the nights are long working on papers and the less "exciting" stuff, but I guess its worth it each time you see a life being reached, each tear of gratitude you see.

Thats reward enough for me.

Diary : 12 Nov 2011

Last friday as I was helping to unload the container. A saw a small gang of kids walking past us. One child waved. As i looked closer I realised it was John, skinnier than i remembered him 2 years ago when he left. Next to him was a ruffian looking chap, it was tommy ! He too lost some weight but maintained a chubby face partially hidden behind a new hairdo.

There was a third and fourth kid that I seem to remember as well. It was Manak and Tong ! There was such a sense of nostalgia seeing these kids and knowing that they are still alright. But seeing them on a friday morning tells me that they have already dropped out of school or are back playing truat.

Nevertheless these kids held a special place in my heart.

Hours passed and as I was sitting exhausted at the edge of the container. A familiar voice greeted me, it was Tong. He came back to ask if he could borrow my air rifle (the one that i use to shoot rats with). The immediate answer was i'll think about it, but deep inside I know that putting one of these rifles in the hands of these boys can cause a whole lot of mayhem.

So after whispering a prayer, I made a quick offer.

I told the teenager that I'll be doing a round of shooting with the kids at the centre on sunday after church. And if he wants to have a go, he can visit me at the centre. Bring the rest of the gang as well. It has been some time since I caught up with them.

Deep inside, I know that its a slim chance they will turn up. But I guess it was worth a shot. And who knows, we may be still able to guide these kids back on track.

Tomorrow after church. I'll know for certain.

p/s : its getting cold up here.

Diary : 10 Nov 2011 (I Miss My Mom)

Today was split between writing grant papers, negotiating with the Thai customs on the release of the PROJECT LIVES! container and finding a suitable land for the integrated centre.

There are just so many things going on at the same time, all rivaling for our attention. It's almost like when I'm back in the corporate world. Though I enjoy this aspect of the work very much, but more than that, I enjoy spending time with the streetkids

Today I was totally exhausted after a whole day of work and it was sure great to see the kids all hyped up and ready to celebrate the Loy Khrathong festival.

The Loy Khrathong festival is celebrated by the Thais by releasing lanterns and candle-lit floats into the river. One of the most beautiful and spectacular event of the year.

The little-lest girl in the STREETKIDS! home greeted me as I stepped out of the car and asked me with the most innocent and expectant looking eyes..."Pii Eugene, where will we be going for the festival ?" Stretching her hands out, signalling to me that she wants to be picked up and hugged.

I picked the little girl up and she just put her head on my shoulder.

As I held the little child, she whispered.... "Pii Eugene, I miss my mom"

I guess that had to be one of the saddest questions- a question which I struggled to answer.

You see, we rescued this little child because we knew that this child was a child from a broken marriage, severely neglected by her mom and furthermore the mother had a high chance of selling her away. The child was a liability and the mom wanted to get rid of her so she could move on with her life.

We don't think the mom will come back for the her.

So how do you tell a 6 year old child that her mom is probably never going to come back for her?

Project LIVES! Pictures

Some pictures from PROJECT LIVES! 2011

http://www.radion-international.org/uncategorized/2011/11/10/project-lives-2011-singapore-phase/

Building Lives ! - Part 2 : Some Good News

Today we received some good news!

The first will be that our 40ft container should reach us by this week !

And the second, the landlord of STK Home will be likely extending our lease, so our kids will not have to go homeless ! Last week, we heard some news that the landlord wants the property back and we've been terribly concerned as our STK home in the integrated centre is still far from being ready.

Right now, we have some budget to build our first permanent office and purchase the the land. But the land prices here are crazy ! It has skyrocketed almost 4X in the last 6 months.


So the challenge right now is that though we have narrowed down our search for land, the land price is proving to be a massive problem. This may force us back to the drawing board to rework our our cost and potentially delay our building project by a year.

But saying that, we are still believing God for a breakthrough. And to find a suitable land to build this very special integrated centre. Its not just a community complex. But a church without walls, a place where the homeless can seek shelter, a place where victims can be protected and most significantly a place where more than 100 kids can call home.

Our envisoned integrated centre will have a office cum medical centre, a small warehouse to store all your donations, a church cum mass hall for our mass food distribution and a place where dreams can be restored !

So please continue to keep us in prayers. This is the next leap forward !

Diary : 5 Nov 2011

Today was our very much anticipated mass food distribution after coming back from Singapore.

But it didn't go as planned and it sure doesn't look like how it should have been.

Less than half the people turned up. Why the remaining half was not picked up by a staff who "misunderstood" and the people never made it here because they hadn't been informed earlier.

I was upset, but things were about to get worse.

The meeting started with close to 100 people and my deputy at this point was supposed to do a short sharing to keep the crowd entertained while waiting for more people to come. When we decided to continue with the service. The crowd was unusually unsettled, talking amongst themselves as the staff made introductions of our ministry before we started our gospel sharing.

Suddenly one lady spoke up. She asked "Isn't it too narrow minded to not allow people to collect items on behalf of relatives when we are not able to make it ?" She was referring to our system whereby only the people who came got to receive the goodie bags and we're not allowed to hold for others, as there will be no end to people asking on behalf of others.


But this question was the devil needed to throw the team off guard. The words in the question caused my staff much distress and she started to explain a lengthy rationale. Before she knew it she had taken up more than 30mins, eating into the gospel sharing portion.

Though we managed to convince the lady, we lost the greater picture. 

There was little we could do. Especially when the whole exchange was in Hmong. And by the time I stepped in. We only had 20mins to share. And with my translator in a state of disarray, she was not fully focused and started to amplify the sharing. So with every line, it took another 5 mins for her to explain.

I could only share for the last 10mins or so. But such great lessons were learnt today.

Where the devil is so terribly cunning that he can use a simple trigger to get people all ruffled up, resulting in the gospel not being fully preached to the people.

As much as I'm upset. Its also a reminder for our team to continuously go into prayer.

May this be the first and last of its kind !

Building Lives - Part 1 : A Worried Meeting

Today in the field staff meeting. My staff looked worried.

They have heard news that our landlord of our STK home may not be extending the lease as he has a family who may need the property.

And this is especially bad news for a lady who just joined us because she was kicked out of her family when her husband left her. So now, she may be even loosing the last available shelter over her head.

My newest staff Maay asked me..."Boss, if the landlord takes away the home, will we have a shelter over our heads ?" while trying to put up a strong front.

She knows that finding a house is going to be difficult especially with 13 kids and 2 staff . And with just 2 months before the contract expires, its hardly enough time to find another rental property.