My Shattered Past - Part 1

I'm the second child in the family. Both my parents weren't born with a silver spoon in their mouths. I remembered as a young child, my dad will be driving a company van while my sister and I will be in the front seat with mom.

Every time we saw a police, we would quickly duck below the dashboard as can't be in the van without safety belts. But that was all the transport we had at the time.

My parents worked hard and fought against all odds to feed the family and soon their hard work paid off. They finally attained a middle-upper class status.

At a young age, I enjoyed the benefits of my parents hard work; traveling around the world, traveling around in big cars and enjoying all the comforts in life.

My parents understood the importance of a good education and I did fairly well in in my studies. But I deep inside I was not a happy child, many nights I would contemplate ending my life and nothing helped. Holidays, friends, academic excellence. Nothing helped.

Sure I had friends. Sure I smiled a lot in school. But deep inside, I hated life and never understood why I even existed, every day was a torture.

Until I found God when I was 15. My whole life was transformed, inside out. That was the most precious thing I had.

I served the Lord for many years and my only goal was to be a pastor when i reached the age of 25. I even planned out exactly which bible college I wanted to go to and how it will all turn out.

My life was planned out. So i thought....