Diary : 27 Nov 2011 (The Story of a Bed)

Little joys in life !

We haven't had a decent bed in the Chiang Mai office till today.

Its kinda nostalgic remembering the first time when we rented this office.

At that time, we had to get to Chiang Mai every few months to get governmental paperwork done. And we really didn't have much money at that time. We were sleeping on the cold floors of a friend's rented office and we were grateful to have a floor to sleep on. Our backpacks were our pillows and jackets and jeans were our blankets.

After months of saving, we decided to take the "step of faith" to rent an office which we needed in order to register our charity. We had so little funds and we chanced upon a place that offered the cheapest rental. It was far out from the city, it was just hard concrete and really minimalistic- it had absolutely nothing !

But there was still much to thank God for, though we slept on the floor, at least we had a roof over our heads and it was our first office in Chiang Mai !

Months down the road, we saved up enough for a pillow and a thin polyester mattress. It was strange to sleep on one of these, it didn't do much of a job as you can feel the hard ground through the thin mattress. But at least it was better than sleeping on the cold hard floor.

After years, we saved up for the cheapest spring mattress we could find in the hypermart. It was exciting ! We finally had a bed, of sorts. The rainy season came and to our horror, the roof leaked and the beds were soaked, the spring quickly gave way and we couldn't bring ourselves to splurge any more money on a bed. The money can be better used to help someone out there.

It was funny every night ! Our butts will sink into the mattress while our legs and head will be supported by whats left of the bed. After a while, we got used to it and it kinda felt more like a Styrofoam bean bag than a bed ! And the roof leakages ? We joked that it was like an infinity pool up there !

For months, red ants will start infesting the place and we'll be bitten all over. These are really nastly little fire ants and swelling was enormous ! And many times when we just needed a shower, there was just no water from the taps. Yes. Thats probably why the rental is so cheap !

Last year, through project lives, we were offered a sofa bed, we grabbed it ! It was a little cranky. It just didn't open up fully, so it was another "V" but at least we're away from the ground and few more cm away from the nasty red ants!

Last month during project lives, when the manager at Salvation Army asked us what we needed. Shirleen our local coordinator quickly chirped "Our director is still sleeping on a sofa bed ! Can we get him a bed ? He just refuses to buy a bed !

Yes. She knows I've been hoping to get a mattress and have been looking in Ikea Singapore. But its just all so overpriced. Nice and soft, but it was just too pricey. I silently whispered to God and said "It'll be nice to have one yeah ?"

At the salvation army warehouse, the manager acceded to the request of Shirleen and made the rest of the arrangements and a dismantled bed frame + a mattress squeezed into the remaining space on the container before it left Singapore.

After the relief distribution last week, we transported the bed and frame to Chiang Mai in a little truck and got it assembled!

My staff joked "Finally the director has a proper bed". We laughed and it sure looks new. I had to try it out ! Lying on the mattress, it has this strangest feeling, as though as I have slept on it before.

I turned the mattress around and there was a little sticker label at a small corner of the mattress.

I was taken aback..... It read IKEA.

I kinda remembered the moment where I lay on the IKEA bed in the showroom and made that little whisper. But I guess God heard :)

Diary : 24 Nov 2011 (What If)

While the world teaches us to take an eye for an eye. The bible tells us to turn the other cheek.
Requiring us to do something totally opposite our instincts !

There are just so many examples scattered across the gospels.  So many times we struggle and wonder why is it just do difficult to be Christ like.

Even for many of us who manage to "obey" (to varying degrees). I suspect that many times we obey by "crucifying the flesh", and potentially missing a better picture.


What if the issue is not the test of obedience but the issue of trust ?
The belief and trust that God is the very "manufacturer" of us and He has a good plan ?

For every new car that is produced, its accompanied by a manufacturer's handbook, with notes on how to care for the vehicle, trouble shoot problems and it also tells us how often it needs to be serviced. The manufacturer know the effects of wear and tear, how the climate will affect the car and they know that even with day to day use, the vehicle will soon fall apart without proper care.

Its a manual is written to tell of how the car can be kept at its optimum and prevented from premature damage but unfortunately, like the bible, its often left unread.
 
I believe there is an important parallel in the car manual and the Bible-the manual from our Manufacturer.

But the more stirring part.

What if these seemly painful "crucifying the flesh" verses where not meant to only make the world a better place, but more importantly to enable us to keep going and prevent us from getting hurt ?

You see thousands of years ago, it was commanded to the Israelites to circumcise their children after the 8th day of birth. The people of that day probably struggled with the idea and did it out of religious obligation, but little do they know that this act that goes against the fabric of our nature is actually saving their children's precious lives.

Without even knowing it, the next generation was preserved from potentially fatal infections. And the beautiful part is that the bible is so specific- at the 8th day !

According to doctors, at 8 days old, our bodies have the highest ability to bring about a blood clot, in the event of a cut and we are the most resilient to cuts at this very day of our lives.

Now, coming back to the issue at hand.

What if these commandments were not just meant for world outside ? But for us specifically ?

What if "Love thy neighbour" was not just a commandment for us to love others, but for us to have an opportunity to be helped in times of difficulty when turmoils come our way ? What if this the the very ark we need to build so disaster can be adverted?

What if these verses were not just commandments, but statements of Love from our manufacturer who has seen the future and is preparing us for what that lies ahead ?

If we view these verses in trust, knowing that God has the best plan for us.
I reckon that obedience will come naturally, because of a new found trust in an all-loving Maker.

Diary : 20 Nov 2011

There is really nothing glamourous about serving God in a mission field such as this.

Stories of brave missionaries blazing new frontiers and stories of great success, provision and blessings are just one side of the stories. But its the side that the world wants to hear.

The truth being is that we struggle every single day. While its beautiful to think that this path is paved with provision and breakthroughs, most often, its laced with pain, blood and sacrifice.

When i started this work back in 2007, i'm emptied my savings to come here, giving up a bright careers and taking a simple leap of faith. This leap was tremendously difficult, knowing that I'll be at the mercy of sneers from relatives, close friends who asked me to pause for a reality check. So many voices just tell you to not embark on this painful and potentially career ending journey.

I knew this journey was rough and I did everything I could to survive as long as I could in this very harsh place. Clean water was hard to come by, winter nights were cold and we hardly had a blanket thick enough to brace us through the cold. Waters in the bath came from cold river sources and I'll be shivering as a result I often caught the chills, and it was not a pleasant experience.

I saw how the locals tried their very best to boil water for me to bathe when they saw me turning white coming out of the shower. I guess they wondered, what caused this urban man to come to live amongst us. They probably laughed and at the same time pitied us. They extended their best courtesies and offered to cook meals for us, but the food was really different, sometimes its just a green mash, sometimes it looks reddish, not the kind of food we're used to in comfy singapore. It  was a struggle.


Especially in these very painful moments, i'll remember the reason why I'm here. The faces of villagers, the people who can't even afford the soap to bathe. And that thought kept me on for months. Over the first 3 months, i lost some 20kg, we had to keep expenses to a minimum so we could serve the people longer.

We really had to save, a simple bottle of coke was a luxury we couldn't always afford.

Sometimes, it can be really depressing working in these environments. Many nights I'll wonder and get slightly depressed, entertaining thoughts of quiting and going back to a more comfortable life. And these happen during the good times.

In bad times, when the ministry doesn't go all that well, funds come in in drips and drabs, I sometimes wonder if that is God's divine hint for me to go back.




Its always beautiful to work with grateful beneficiaries, but sometimes we get misunderstood, back-stabbed, pushed away and some complain. Yes it happens here as well, not just in Singapore.

Many times, my staff who are Hmong ask me, why do you care ? Hmongs are not easy people to care, much less to love. Sometimes they are terribly unlovable and ungrateful. Not the kind of people whom the world wants to help.

Yes it has some truth. But if we look at it from our perspective. Yes. they are unlovable. But when you look though God's eyes. Aren't we all the same ? Sometimes we are just as ungrateful and unlovable. But God still loved us nevertheless. Thats why I decide to stay and to let my life be a imperfect reflection of a loving God.


We get depressed too and I think of quitting more often than you know. And sometimes just pressing on and loving people is painful, and staying here is a sacrifice in itself.

I often wonder, what if I have chosen a corporate path ?
I would have my sports car, I would be fairly well off and enjoying a cushy life.
instead of sitting on a mountain typing on a $20 table and a donated chair !

Sometimes I complain too, but I realised that when i complain, I start viewing things from my perspective. The perspective of the almighty man. But when I see it though the Lord's eyes, I learn to love despite the hurts, learning to live simply, learning to put God first and the desires of the little me, second.

Most importantly, I yet again my almighty God saving a wretched me.

What a worthwhile exchange i may say. This journey of exchanging the desires of the world for the knowledge of an almighty God.