A Day With The Kids

There are just a lot of things on my plate right now, the fund raising dinner in Apr, finding land in Phetchabun, recruiting new staff, clearing audit in both Singapore and Thailand, organizing 4 groups of volunteers all doing my PhD coupled with a seemingly endless list of items to do administratively.

But today I decided to set aside time to spend time with my kids. I guess its always something i wanted to do, but the workload is just so heavy and finding a balance is not so clear cut. Spend more time with my children, the fund raising will be affected, and spending too much time administratively won't avail me enough time to spend with these precious ones.

 Freezing behind the truck as we head into Moncham

Kuak after vomiting. After getting off this kart, he was running up hill ! Talk about short recoveries !

Taking time aside today was not easy. Not especially when it involves waking up at 3+am just to bring a group of kids to see the sunrise. The drive was up mountains, slightly rough, weather was cold. About 3km from the top, the people on the ground told us that the roads are even rougher and will not recommend us to go up.

 We're too early. The kind lady tells us the roads up the mountains is about 3km !

After contemplating the risk and walking 3km up mountain. We decided to drive a small stretch at a time to see how far we can get before we needed to park the truck. Surprisingly we went up all the way till the 800m mark from the top before being stopped by a fallen tree log.

 

 I was half dead walking up. So no picture till here. Where its almost at the top

 Final stairway to the top !

The kids jumped off the truck and suggested a run to the top. I agreed..... it was a mistake. They are 13 and I'm 31. thats the difference. When i was up, I was half dead but the view was magnificent ! 5 mins past sunrise, but its better to catch some sunrise than non at all.

 5 mins after sunrise !

A pose on the top !

 

 Visiting a vegetable garden !

It was beautiful and we only decided to come down when it got too cold up on the top and went to visit a small vegetable farm project. There we had our picnic breakfast. After breakfast, we headed down to warmer grounds where we brought the kiddos to the strawberry farm. They picked nice strawberries, while I was just there picking all the wrong ones.... either too small or the ones already starting to rot.

 Strawberries. 1kg for 100bht !

 Sweet strawberries for once ! They call it the No.80 strain !

Its funny, but somehow it reminds me of the work we do....we seem to have a knack for picking up lives which the world rejects or the ones starting on a downward spiral.

 Kuak got all the right ones, i got all the wrong ones..

But seeing the kids enjoying the picking was great fun. Though at this point my legs were aching.

Next stop was the Darapirom Museum, where the kids got to see how European architecture influenced modern day thai architectures. For the first time, I see my kids interested in history and culture, instead of the last round where they "walked" another museum in under 10mins !

Thai Museum

And how can we close the excursion without swimming ! Yes. Swimming again. They just love to soak and play... but that is just how it is like being a kid. And I was glad i made time, despite being really tired at the end of the trip, but seeing their smiles. It was worth it.

Its Painful To Heed

 Its not easy to translate these raw feelings into words, and even harder to fully articulate in writing. With each word usually brings along with it the nostalgia, the pains, the joys of being in ministry.

So often, I'm conscious that I should write nicer things, things to encourage and processing "raw" sentiments before I put them into writing. But its that very reason why people will rarely get a glimpse of our heartaches.

So let me try yet again.

It's really painful. Painful to be called by God to serve, but yet left feeling left high and dry with no one to support you.

It was the risk I took, I was firstly relatively new in church and while I attempted to integrate by signing up for church cell groups, no one called me up. I signed the form not once but 3 times over 2 years. *grinz*

And as I waited, I would sit quietly at each service, feeling connected to the church yet disconnected from the body of Christ.

Somehow as i look back, it was a divine plan.

Would I have been in cell, I would likely be more involved in ministry and should the call of the Lord come under such circumstances, I would have done what most Christians would do- simply seek your leader's advice. And being a big church coupled with a call to missions at a time when the church was pulling back on missions. I would probably not have been able to just pack my bags in obedience and left.

For months as I sat in each service, I wondered if I should leave the church altogether, I had little to no friends in the church and would have my coffee before service by myself and after the service ends, I would head home alone. Not the kind of church life I was yearning for. It sure felt a little raw, and lonely at times.

But it was also at this very church where I sat there listening to this female pastor preaching through Haggai that i first heard my call. It was because of this disconnection that I was able to leave without hindrance. It was because of the loneliness that I knew "home" was probably somewhere else.

That fateful morning when the Lord called. The only 2 things I had to give up was my attractive career offer and my family in Singapore. To give up, it was painful.